This cannot possibly be comfortable #chairmanmeow #kitten #adorable (Taken with instagram)
THIS? OH, YOU’RE SO SWEET. IT’S CHRISTIAN LACROIX. I WAS IN PARIS FOR A CONFERENCE AND I COULDN’T RESIST. I HAVE THESE PERFECT LITTLE PEARLS THAT DANE BOUGHT ME WHEN WE FIRST GOT MARRIED AND A CHANEL CLUTCH, PLUS THESE LITTLE YELLOW LOUBOUTINS THAT ARE ABSOLUTE MURDER ON MY ARCHES BUT GOD DO THEY LOOK DIVINE.
FINISH YOUR CHARDONNAY AND I’LL TAKE YOU UPSTAIRS AND SHOW YOU. YOU’LL LOVE THEM.
I CANNOT EVEN WITH THIS
THANK YOU FOR YOUR OPINION REGARDING MY EYELINER, BUT LET ME EXPLAIN A COUPLE THINGS TO YOU:
1. I DON’T WEAR IT FOR YOU, NOR DO I PICK OUT MY OUTFITS BASED ON WHAT I THINK MEN WILL LIKE. YOUR CONSTANT OGLING HAS NO BEARING ON MY DECISION TO FLATTER MY FIGURE OR ENHANCE MY NATURAL FEATURES WITH BEAUTY PRODUCTS. THAT IS YOUR GENDER’S CONSTANT MISGUIDED PERCEPTION.
2. YOU DON’T LIKE “WOMEN WHO DON’T WEAR MAKEUP.” YOU LIKE WOMEN WHO ARE WEARING CONCEALER AND BARE ESCENTUALS FOUNDATION CAREFULLY BLENDED INTO THEIR NECKLINE, CHEEKS TINTED LIGHTLY WITH SOFT ROSY CREAM BLUSH, EYESHADOW ONE SHADE DARKER THAN THEIR FOUNDATION, EYELASHES DOTTED WITH GREY PENCIL AND LIPS THAT HAVE BEEN ENHANCED WITH A LIGHT BERRY GLOSS.
THAT’S PROBABLY $200 WORTH OF CREAMS AND POWDERS AND TAKES MORE TIME TO APPLY THAN YOUR ENTIRE ‘SHIT, SHOWER AND SHAVE’ ROUTINE, ALL SO ASSHOLES LIKE YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ‘NATURAL BEAUTY’ WHILE WE’RE WAITING FOR A DAMNED BUS.
3. EVEN IF I HONESTLY CARED ABOUT YOUR AMATEUR MAKEUP CRITIQUES I WOULDN’T IN A MILLION YEARS GO OUT WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IGNORANT, BALDING FASHION CASUALTY WITH NOODLE ARMS AND A BEER GUT WHO CAN’T KEEP HIS EYES OR OPINIONS TO HIMSELF.
IF YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME I’M GOING TO SHOVE YOUR SANDALS UP YOUR ASS AND YOU CAN WADDLE HOME IN YOUR SOCKS.
I CAN’T STOP REBLOGGING THIS IT’S ALL SO FUCKING PERFECT
CLAIRE, YOU SAID YOUR TWO CENTS. IT’S MY TURN.
YOU KNOW HOW WHEN YOU SAY, “CHINA IS COMMUNIST,” SOMEONE ALWAYS CORRECTS YOU AND SAYS “ACTUALLY, CHINA HAS INSTITUTED A LOT OF CAPITALIST POLICIES SINCE MAO’S DEATH AND THAT’S HOW THEY’VE SHOWN SUCH A FREAKISH INCREASE IN GDP, AND BLAH BLAH BLAH”? IT’S NOT LIKE THEY’RE WRONG. THAT’S QUITE TRUE. BUT CHINA’S STILL COMMUNIST, RIGHT? MY QUESTION IS, WHY CAN’T WE DO THE REVERSE? A CAPITALIST COUNTRY THAT ADOPTS CERTAIN LIMITED COMMUNIST POLICIES TO FIX VARIOUS PROBLEMS? OR SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT? AMERICA IS A VERY YOUNG EXPERIMENT. WE’VE BEEN AROUND FOR WHAT? 250 YEARS, GIVE OR TAKE? CHINA IS LIKE, A FEW THOUSAND YEARS OLD. SO ARE A LOT OF OTHER COUNTRIES. THINGS CHANGE.
UNRESTRICTED FREE-MARKET CAPITALISM IS POINTLESS SINCE IT COMPLETELY IGNORES A WIDE RANGE OF SOCIAL NECESSITIES, AND YOU CAN’T RUN A COUNTRY BY IGNORING THE PEOPLE IN IT. WHY NOT TRY TO PIECEMEAL SOMETHING NEW FROM THE EXISTING STRUCTURES WE’VE ALREADY SEEN IN ACTION AND ADD THEM TO OUR OWN? REMOVE WHAT DOESN’T BENEFIT US. WHEN YOU START A SMALL BUSINESS, FOR INSTANCE, YOU LOOK AROUND AND SEE WHAT’S WORKING FOR YOUR COMPETITION AND WHAT ISN’T AND STRUCTURE YOUR BUSINESS ACCORDINGLY, YES? THAT’S ALL I’M SAYING. SOMETHING NEW. THE BEST OF WHAT’S OUT THERE.
OBVIOUSLY WE NEED SOME ’SOCIALIST’ POLICIES TO ENSURE OUR CITIZENS DON’T DIE IN THE STREETS AND TO HELP HEAL THE ECONOMIC DIVIDE. BASIC INFRASTRUCTURE, EDUCATION AND HEALTHCARE ARE STANDARD IN 90% OF THE DEVELOPED WORLD. WHY NOT HERE? DON’T TELL ME IT’S SOME SORT OF DEFINITE BLACK AND WHITE ISSUE. WE’RE THE MOST ADVANCED COUNTRY ON EARTH AND WE’RE SACRIFICING DEMOCRACY AND DECENCY FOR SOME SORT OF “MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY” ECONOMIC TANTRUM WHEN WHAT WE’RE DOING IS OBVIOUSLY NOT WORKING. WE DON’T HAVE TO PULL A 180. WE JUST NEED TO STOP BEING STUPID AND FIGURE OUT WHAT WOULD DO THE MOST AMOUNT OF GOOD FOR THE LARGEST AMOUNT PEOPLE AND THEN MAKE IT WORK.
THERE. NOW IT’S YOUR TURN. HOWEVER, IF YOU QUOTE SOME IDIOTIC UNFACT YOU HEARD ON FOX NEWS I WILL SHIT RIGHT ON YOUR FINGER. I’M NOT JOKING.
